The hair test comes back

This is one of the saddest days of my life. I can remember clearly that I was the only one home. I was sitting at my computer desk checking my email waiting for the email from DirectLabs with the hair test result. Each day I’d check and it wasn’t there, I could breath again for another day.

© 2006 The Edge of Autism

Today, I opened my email and there is was. An email from Direct Labs with an attachment. I was afraid to open it but after taking a moment to stop holding my breath I did. I downloaded the file and opened it. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach as I looked at the insanely elevated metals in my son’s hair. My hand went to my mouth as I gasped in absolute panic to see all those bars elevated. My God where did he get all that aluminum? The Lead, where did that come from?  I thought “Dear God, help us, what is going on?”.  I glared at the screen hoping maybe they sent me the wrong test. Nope the name was correct. How in the hell did my son get all these metals at age 3?  As I began to process what I was looking at I sat frozen in my chair feeling like I wanted to throw up. I began crying and saying over and over again “my poor boy, my poor boy, oh God my poor boy, he’s very sick”. My son was poisoned. I wasn’t sure how or what, but clearly he was.

I don’t know how long I sat there crying but eventually I heard the door open and everyone came home. I snapped out of it and into “what do we do now” mode. I prepared to sit down and explain the test to dad. My mind in a panic, my heart was broken and my soul was sick for what was wrong with my boy. How did this happen? We took care of him, we fed him well, we protected him, we were cautious about what he was around. It didn’t make sense.

I spent the next few weeks in and out of hell going from guilt to sadness to guilt as I prepared to chelate my son for metal toxicity. I remember spending a lot of time feeling sick to my stomach and many nights crying myself to sleep.  I reminded myself many times that while this was terribly bad, at least we had some explanation for his symptoms.

However, this never made me feel any better about it. Even today as I am writing this and thinking back of to that awful day, I feel that pit in my stomach. That pit that changed everything. The day that we could not go back to the world where autism or toxic metals didn’t exist yet. Where our sweet boy was just unique with his odd words or habits. Back to the days of innocence before we knew the world was full of poisons and doctors gave aluminum laden vaccines to our son.  Back to the time when we lived in naive bliss with millions of other families who had no idea of the hidden dangers that could come to rob their child of his health and development.

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